The Goblin Tales [0.5-3] GraphicAudio Dramatized - Jim C. Hines Audiobook

Written by Jim C. Hines
Format: MP3
Bitrate: 256 Kbps
Dramatization

-0.5 Jig the Goblin: 3:09:03

A vengeful ghost trapped in a goblin’s ear…

A flaming spider who must help stop a goddess from conquering a science fiction convention…

A goblin nursery worker who finds herself trapped in the middle of a war…

This collection features six humorous short stories that explore the fantasy realm from the perspective of the lowest of the low, the unlikeliest of unheroes: the goblins.

-Goblin Lullaby
-The Haunting of Jig’s Ear
-Goblin Hunter
-Blue Corpse Corps
-School Spirit
-Mightier than the Sword

-1 Goblin Quest: 6:17:22

Jig the goblin was the runtiest member of an admittedly puny race, so nearsighted as to be almost blind, and had such a poor self image that when he chose a god to worship it was one of the forgotten ones, after all, what other sort of god would have him as worshiper? He also had a cowardly fire-spider for a pet, a creature that was likely to set your hair on fire if it got into a panic.

Made to stand tunnel watch by the goblin bullies who’d been assigned the job, it was just Jig’s luck to be taken captive by a group of adventurers, with the usual complement of a dwarf warrior, a prince out to prove himself, his mad wizard brother, and an elfin thief.
Forced to guide this ill fated party on their search for the Rod of Creation, though Jig had no more idea how to find it than they did, he soon had them stumbling into every peril anyone had ever faced in the fantasy realms.

And they hadn’t even found the Necromancer or the Dragon yet!

-2 Goblin Hero: 6:26:57

They call him Jig Dragonslayer, and who is he to deny a legend. After all, common sense, something in very short supply among goblins, has a lot to do with Jig’s continued existence.

Though he’s been captured by adventures and dragged unwillingly along on their foolish quest, he’s survived both the Necromancer and the Dragon. If people want to insist he’s a hero, he isn’t going to fight about it. But the trouble with being labeled a hero is that everyone expects you to keep doing heroic things. And all Jig wants to do is worship his forgotten god, hang out with his pet fire-spider, and heal humiliating goblin injuries.

But to Kralk, the current head goblin, Jig is a threat to her power. So when an ogre comes to seek Jig Dragonslayer’s help against an unnamed enemy that’s destroying or enslaving all of ogre kind, Kralk insists he accept the challenge. With a large, exceptionally dumb goblin and an ancient, crotchety goblin who can barely walk as his unwanted sidekicks, and pursued by a goblin who’s certain that she’s meant to be the true goblin hero - Jig sets out for ogre territory.

After all, being killed by a magical enemy that can terrify an ogre is probably no worse than being killed by your ‘friends’…

-3 Goblin War: 6:51:59

If you think it’s hard being a hobgoblin or a human, try living a goblin’s life for a while. In fact, try imagining what it’s like to be the runtiest goblin in the caves, the lone worshiper of a god who’s been forgotten for a good reason, and the target everyone points to at the first hint of trouble.

Try picturing yourself as Jig Dragonslayer, and see how you like it…

Despite impossible odds, Jig was still alive. He’d survived an adventurer’s quest against a dragon and a necromancer, a pixie invasion that had ogres and trolls dropping like flies, and, most frightening of all, the threat of being made chief of the goblins. He wasn’t sure how much more he could stand. Naturally, he was about to find out.

War was brewing in the world outside the Mountain, and when the goblin’s lair was invaded by human warriors in search of the Rod of Creation, Jig knew it was just the start of another really bad day…